It’s 11:22pm ,
I’ve been feeling discouraged these past couple of weeks but I still manage to crack a smile. I try so hard to push past my inner feelings that tend to bring me down. But sometimes I need to cry it out, and fill this room with sorrow and disappointments. I want to prove my mom, my sister, and my brother wrong, that I made it. I just want to pick up the phone and say “Hey, I made it. I made something out of my life.” I joke a lot with my best friend about depression and how much we wish we could disappear sometimes into thin air. I sent her a message ” I didn’t even ask to be here.” …. well I didn’t, but I’m here. I don’t talk about my depression out loud , I want to be strong not only in my relationships but for my self. I don’t know how I made it this far, but I did. My depression comes and goes I can be really happy for weeks even months but then like a switch it comes right back. I’ve mastered how to hide it or suppressed it. I keep fighting for my happiness every day, I know this is something I need to fight with in myself. This is for those special people out there, sometimes life gets a little harder or the pain deepens but just know you’re not alone and I am with you. I started writing this post with tears in my eyes and pain in my heart but I know today is today but tomorrow will be there and better. I’ve learned life gets better when you stop hiding and let the tears fall. Because after the rain comes the sun.
ps: I’m back