She’s in the midst of the ocean, she feels shackles on her feet weighing her down, into the deepest part of the ocean. She’s trying her best to keep her head above water, she’s trying to keep focus on the horizon as each wave passes. She tries harder and harder to keep her head above water, but the waves are getting stronger. She can barely see the horizon anymore. She’s alone, she’s scared, she begins to cry out.

God please help me! God I need you, I feel so heavy, I feel tired. My feet are chained up trying to pull me down, but I won’t let it. Yet I feel my spirit giving up, I’m crying out to you God, do you hear me God? Why do you choose to be silent, all that surrounds me are my echos. I cry and I cry only to I hear my tears fall into the ocean, drop after drop. Why now do you decide to be silent, when I need you the most you are silent Why! I’m angry at myself, I’m angry at the world. I thought this is what I wanted, I thought I wanted to leave! I thought I wanted to be gone. Oh spirit, my spirit it’s been too long. Spirit I have silence you, I’ve ignored you.

I’ve done everything in my power to keep you shut, I didn’t want to hear you. I didn’t want to know the truth, so I locked you up. And now look at me, look where I am! Surrounded by nothing, surrounded by myself, only me. I feel so heavy, my heart feels heavy I don’t think I can keep this up any longer. The wave is getting closer, this wave will be my last. God do you hear me? I am not strong enough. God I ask for your forgiveness, for the days I ignored you, the days I didn’t stand by you, the days I didn’t recognize you around others.

The only valuable thing I have to offer is my heart. This beaten down, broken heart of mine. I tried so many times to stitch it back up but it started to leak and I don’t think I can stitch it up again by myself. These shackles on my feet haven’t allowed me to pursue you fully, these shackles on my feet had made me forget about you. And these shackles on my feet made me loose touch of who I really am. Who I am with you. Oh spirit I am sorry for you shutting you up, I wanted everything in the world. I didn’t want to know the truth, I wasn’t ready to listen.

Oh spirit you are weak, you are so weak right now because of me. But it’s time spirit, it’s time for you to be strong, I’ve let my flesh takeover, but it’s time for you to be stronger than me.God will you take this? My heart is all that I have, it’s the most valuable thing I have, will you take this beaten down heart? The wave is here God will you free me from these shackles, God?”

She see’s a wave coming it’s getting bigger and closer. She doesn’t believe she can hold herself any longer. In a desperate voice she cries out in despair. The wave sets her body and spirit free, the shackles fall into the ocean’s floor to be swallowed by the earth.

She’s been set free, I ‘am free because he set me free!


I’ am a Jersey native , born in El Salvador a small little country in Central America. Arrived to the United States, when I was four years old, not knowing where life will take me. Fast Forward eighteen years later, I’m twenty-three living with my boyfriend, his mom, and three brothers. Life can become hectic and extraordinary full of adventures and struggles, emotional and physical pain. Writing has been the number one source where I can express myself fully. Hopefully my writing can inspire you and help, where ever you are, who ever you are I want you to know you’re not alone and you are important. xo Cece

1 comment on “She

  1. So raw and captivating

    Liked by 1 person

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