Have you ever felt unworthy and filthy because of your past? Trying to runaway from your past but some how some way your past ends up finding you. When you finally decided to change your life for good dealing with your pain and personal issues but still not feeling complete? Or when you decide to go to church and leave feeling attacked by the Pastor and their message. Thinking to yourself why did I even bother to come, I knew church wasn’t for me. Yet you arrived home and you’re sitting in your car hearing the Pastor’s message replaying in your head over and over again like a broken record that keeps playing. Do you allow yourself to open up or will you change the song?
God has a funny way of doing things he lets you believe that you’ve been the one pursing him, but it’s been him the whole time. I met God and I mean I truly met the intimacy of letting God in my life when I opened my heart up to him. It wasn’t easy every part of me wanted to shut down and close that chapter in my life the “God chapter”. I’ve been through this chapter a million times and in the end I felt like a stall car not moving forward or backwards just stuck. I knew the difference between living life with God and living life with out him.
It always felt easier when I wasn’t with him. I had control of my own life and I didn’t have to answer to anyone. I was my own boss, oh so I thought. When life got hard I would do a quick pray telling God that I would do better and become who he wants me to be. I told him I would quit all my sinful ways, and yes I was lying but some how he always listened and yes I still got burned sometimes but hey I’m still here. Why is it that we only look to God when our life goes to shit after we caused it?
God’s grace is greater than our sins he has never given up on us , even if we have given up on him countless times. He does not hold it against us instead he welcomes us with open arms and an open heart. God will not force you to love him instead he gives us freewill. God doesn’t want robots worshipping or loving him instead he wants sinners looking for redemption with an open heart and open mind. God can’t help you change your life if you don’t allow him to.
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:8-10).