A Wintry Night

The clock reads nine o’clock p.m on a cold windy winter night, sounds like a perfect night for hot chocolate and movies, right? Not tonight, she made plans to meet up with friends, nine thirty to be exact. She still hasn’t passed her home town, exit fifty-four, the GPS states she has an hour and half more to go. Being undecided makes her hit the steering wheel and accidentally beeps (gasps)” ugh! I’m honestly so annoyed right now.” She weighs her options in her mind while her focus is on the road, ‘should I keep going or turn back around.’ She hears her mom’s voice mixing in with her thoughts of going to her friends “Why don’t you stay home tonight, weatherman says there is a high chance of a blizzard.” said her mom

Rage peeks inside her, wanting to explode causing her to curses this day as the worst day ever. She can’t bail out now, she lets her conscious eat her away and judges herself  to being known as the friend that’s always late or cancels last minute. Here she goes determined to prove everyone wrong. driving with one hand and the iPhone on the other looking down at her phone and up to the road repeatedly swiping thru knowing that she shouldn’t  just to find the group chat to confirm the meet up was still on. She finally decides to pull over and wait a couple of minutes for a response looking for her favorite playlist to try and relax she turns her phone on loud and patiently waits, but not even a minute passes when she looks out the window and snow starts to fall then she hears an alert, “buzz buzz ding”. It reads…

(From Julia : “Hey girl, yes we are still meeting, we’re waiting on you , and Sammie , what time are you getting hear?, drive safe!)  …

she lets out a big sigh, and response ” Hey Julie, the blizzard just hit Charlesville, it’s getting really bad on the highway , but I can’t wait to see you guys, I’ll try to get there as soon as I can!” hits send….

As tears begin to fall on her cold cheek feeling frustrated, she thought ‘why today at of all days did it have to snow, she wipes away her tears with her arm covering her jacket with mascara , she decides to pick her head and gets back on the highway. Looking away for a second made her loose grip on the steering wheel,…. shes swerving on the highway panicking,  “OMG, God please help me OMG OMG OMG!!! “ Shes turning the wheel wanting to straighten the car  and press on the brake she feels  frighten feeling her heart pounding out of her chest. She can’t seem to get control of the car, the car begins to spin leaving her on black ice, putting her face to face with on going traffic. Feeling scared her palms begin to shake and she starts feeling hot and sweat coming in like an open faucet.

She see’s headlights coming towards, she grabs the wheel and pressing hard on the gas pedal with all her might, hearing a roar and loud vibration coming from underneath allowing her to turn the car and get off the black ice, and back on the road. She lets out a big cry fill with anger, and frustration. Two an half hours later she arrives to her destination, feeling stupid for deciding to come in the first place, she patiently knocks on the door to be greeted by her friend with a big warm smile.

A relationship with God is like  driving in a blizzard trying to get to your destination quickly while trying to avoiding an accident, yet hoping you will arrive just in time. If I had to describe my relationship with God, it would be giving up the control of in my life and hand it over to him, not knowing the pain I will endure, but having faith of the outcome, and places I will arrive to.

I met God when I was eighteen, and fell in love. My mom invited me to church one Thursday night for worship, unknowing that day will change my life forever. I began to read the bible a book I was unfamiliar with and decided to read the book of Romans I felt intrigued and decided to dive right in. The music in the background got louder it made my goosebumps appear, and I felt the urge to stand up and sing something I was not use to.  In that moment I can confirm I felt my spirit light up and fire inside my soul, that was the day I met God,

After that day I devoted myself to God and church, I left everything I knew to begin my journey with him. I would go to church everyday and if I wasn’t at church I would having weekly bible study and worship nights. I started to dress and talk different leaving my friends and family behind.

Unfortunately I began to feel lonely , regretting the decisions I made to become isolated. I began dating again and restoring old friendships, which consciously lead to old habits. I started to go out more, and drink excessively. I got pulled in to the rabbit hole and couldn’t find my way out. On drunken nights I would think about my relationship with God and how it used to be to where it was now. I would cry out to God asking him how did I get so screwed up, I gave up on my relationship and faith with God.

As years passed by I told myself I would never step into a church unless I was ready, I told God that when I’m older and ready to give up my sinful ways I would go back to him. God has a funny humor, he will listen to you, but if it’s not in his plans , he will do everything in his power to bring you back to him, and that’s what happened to me and can happen to you.

About a year ago I found myself searching for God, weighing my options if I was ready to recommit to him. I started to play star 99.1 and heard Oceans by Hillsong for the first time and felt tears coming down. I knew what I had to do and maybe you do too.

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